We started as a team and ended as a team…but not exactly how we wanted…Get
ready…read on, here’s the epic "Soundtrack Story". Tears, tragedy, comedy, collisions,
drama, highs and lows, way too much food, bad hair & baggage, we covered it
all and then some…
Once
upon a time there was Oxfam Trailwalker Japan 09…billed as the “worlds’
greatest team challenge” teams of four walk 100km in 48 hours from Odawara to
Yamanako-ko, through Fuji-Hakone-Izu National Park, over more than 7 mountains,
up and over the Yozoku Pass, past Mt Fuji. There are 9 Trailwalker events
globally this year. Japan is the hardest. Sign us up.
We
set out last Friday May 22nd at 9am with a whole bunch of other
nutters, (now lots of lovely new friends – 171 teams in all), ready for
anything, prepared, hopeful, always happy. Dedicated to ending world poverty, doing
it all for charity and for our wonderful families, many friends and supporters.
You were all with us. Big love.
We
rocked up to Shiroyama Track and Field, feeling all fabulous. Iron-on Team
T-shirts not looking too dodge (even Dee’s burnt one….), Soundtracks official
key holders and b.y.o. forks raring to go. We checked in, got our official
passport and wrist bands then dumped our mountain of bags at the baggage
delivery service. Sadly it wasn’t possible for us to have a constant support
crew with this time, but we so appreciate our dear friends Harumi and Yasuyo
who tried to be with us but unfortunately couldn’t make it due to circumstances
beyond their control. Thank you so much for everything, we totally understand
and you were with us every step!!! After check in, we had a quick interview
with the local Shizuoka newspaper, very interested to learn about our team
dynamics and to find out just how we would be guiding Ness, our vision-impaired
member, over the peaks. Now we were wondering too…hmmm. First time for us all
to celebrate life in this way. Took some piccies with the local folk adorned in
Samurai garb, so cool. Then got our engines running to the beat of the Taiko
drums.
All too soon, we were down at the start, doing our mandatory leaps, jumping
for joy and appreciating the varied calisthenics on display. Impressive moves,
fellow walkers. Momentarily lost each other, then re-grouped. Blondes leading
the blind, let’s get moving. We were off. 2 laps around the track. Nat
suggested we just do one, I tried to get away with just it, but the officials
were on to us. Access denied. Keep on moving. In guiding Ness, she is always
connected to one of us by a system of ropes and links. She walks with one hand on
the rope for tension and stability at all times. She uses a walking pole in the
other, generally. To look at her you’d probably never guess she was blind, but
as we were connected from the get-go most fellow walkers immediately understood
what was going on. Others, funnily enough just thought we were tied together for
extra security…so we wouldn’t get lost…during the day…and they certainly
vocalized it…ummm….we soon set them straight. You, know, kindly and all…wink,
wink. So off we started to CP1 - 9km.
All
good. Sun’s out. No sign of rain. Bit of a traffic jam here and there. Marveling
at those uber cool, elite teams, running, lapping us already. Can’t really remember the walk to CP1. It
was just a lot of fun and the mood was so spirited. Dee guiding Ness. Couple of
headers, not major. Panic at the start with some uneasy footing and soft, muddy
terrain but we soon got the hang of it. Lots of communicating, checking in with
each other. We were doing ok, until we hit that steep, rocky part heading down
to the temple. Brutal for the blind. Slowing down the pace. But we did our
best. 1 major crash. Ness went down so beautifully and bounced back up…wounded
pride only. Made it to CP1. Party in the car park. Loved the Amino cookies.
Found some friends. Off to CP2 - 9km.
Cue
the big climb. Up, up, up. We’re pretty good at that, just the down kills us
with footing, where to put poles, how to handle hairy sections, what’s with all
the roots, dodgy knees etc. But we kept moving, exploring all kinds of topography,
leading Ness the whole way, never quite sure what was next, and meeting so many
nice people. Soon enough arrived at the top of Mt Sengen. How are your toes?
Good. How are your feet? Good. How are your calves? Good. How are your knees?
Crap. That’s where we usually stop. Chill out time on the hill, then it was
down to the flower center. Arrived in pretty good time for us and Nat did a
spot of star jumping…Jetstar will you please give this girl a job?
CP2-CP3
- 5.5km, Time for Nat to guide Ness. And if the hilarity hadn’t started…well it
was about to. Each of us certainly has a different guiding style. Dee usually
does the bulk, only because Trace has almost killed Ness several times due to
height discrepancies; she walks straight under trees, without noticing that
Ness will inevitably walk straight head first into them. That 10cm height diff
will do it. We learnt early on, no guiding for Trace in the forests. Straight
open road, clear mountain path, no prob, she’s awesome. So Nat time. And the guiding
instructions went something like this…”down…, down…, down…, down…, down”…Ness,
too polite to say anything just kept going down, not quite sure how or in what
way but she did. Time for some new vocab and soon they found their rhythm. Down
town and all. Big roots, little roots. Good roots and bad. Rocks, trees. Nat
described them all. Of course as soon as Hakone’s classic view came into focus
there was no sign of Fuji. Remember, Nat is here…her self-imposed curse of
never having seen Fuji and all. Thank goodness the weather was ok…Had we spoken
too soon? Of course. Arrive at CP3 in the Onshi Koen Car park. Clouds looming.
First little rain drop. Rain gear out and on.
Looking
forward to CP3-CP4 rocking it out around the 12.5km flat-ish section of Lake
Ashi. Possibly make up some time. Hahahaha. And here’s where you know the story
takes a turn. Nat’s got some hot spots on her feet that need tending too. Shoes
and socks go off roadside and the blister treatment begins. Trace and Ness are
somewhere up ahead trying to make the most of quickly fading daylight. Shoes
back on. Feet feel so fine. We catch up. Then the rain buckets down. Can’t see
the end of the lake. Night comes too fast. Headlamps are donned. Trail flat for
sure, but riddled with roots that played havoc with equilibrium and balance for
Ness. With the rain coming down, muddy ground, slippery and unsure footing
Trace navigated Ness through what ultimately ended up being the scariest part
of the course for her. Poles not finding the ground, connecting with a plunge
to the lake. The combination of spatial displacement and walking on only slippery
roots interspersed with rocks was so hard. Ness was amazing. All of us were
in awe. We still don’t know how you did it/do it. Trace, your patience and
calm… where did that come from? We arrived at CP4, completely drenched. Not
too tired but drained. At this point we heard some teams had already reached
CP7 and would be finished by midnight…unbelievable. We sat down and don’t know
where the next 3 hours went. We planned to stay 1. We changed, rested, Nat
visited Dr Motohashi who had already seen to date more than 100 walkers, had a
lovely visit from Yuri and her family (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) and re-fueled. Some
of us more than others, it would seem.
And so I tell my sorry tale. Still with
us? No support team but we had (over?) prepared food and supplies to pick up at
CP4. All I remember from my little place parked on the mat, was my hand
reaching from the food bag to my mouth, and back again, repeat, repeat, repeat.
It was like a slow motion scene from a bad horror movie on loop. I wasn’t even
hungry and I don’t know what I ate but I think it consisted of at least 2 rice
balls, cookies, humongous amounts of dry fruit and trail mix, cherries, Godiva chocolate
and my CP4 treat…the Cherry Ripe. Then I dosed up on multi-vitamins and threw a
headache tablet in the mix. My delicate tummy not used to the party going on downstairs
soon started to very quickly not cope…there were energy gels in there, in all
flavors, couple of chockies from previous checkpoints and who knows what else?
Whatever was there was not getting along. And the nausea and queasiness began.
But with a heady mix of excitement that we were almost half way, we put our
little aches and pains aside and decided to leave CP4 about 11.30pm for the
next 18km to CP5.
The
first 6km of this section is on the road. Pretty easygoing, light rain falling.
Ness connected to Dee. First time for some major night hiking for all of us.
All going well, Trace’s knee pain playing up but nothing some thorough trigger
point therapy couldn’t fix. AOK, until my nausea went berserk and had to come
out somehow…conveniently enough at the start of the hike to the top of Mt
Myojingatake 1800m. A pleasant way to begin any walk in the night, in the rain;
gagging, upchucking, dry-reaching…Ness tied to my back. Sorry no fee-breeze in
my pack. But onward and upward. We were doing this, as a team.
I
think
early on we realized how important and significant the team aspect of
this event was, especially considering our situation. All 4 of us are
very
strong individuals and not wanting to speak for the others, I know I am
fiercely independent and generally work way better on my own, my own
way. That
suits me. Working in a group, as a group is fine from time to time,
pick and
choose your projects, set some time frames. But this event is intense,
extreme,
LONG and in our case highly emotional. We all went into trailwalker not
wanting
Ness’s vision impairment to proffer any special consideration or
treatment. We
were all very clear about that. Stubborn maybe? Perhaps in a lot of
ways we
were somewhat blind to it, thinking more in terms that everyone has
some kind
of disability or issue to overcome; perhaps more internal than
external, more hidden
than exposed. We all have something going on. I think for all of us the
reality
of our undertaking kind of hit us about 2am. Misty rain, dense fog,
dirt, all
the while trudging up that muddy mountain, trying to give Ness guidance
while continuing
to vomit in the dark. Nat’s ears illuminated in Trace’s headlamp. Trace
being
thwacked in the head by Nat’s repositioning of branches. Passing teams,
letting
teams pass us. Moving forward. Inertia, madness. Take your pick. There
were
tears. Walking for 2 always, it became crystal our team was in a unique
state. Double
the regular energy required plus some. Finally as we scrambled towards
the top
of Mt Myojingo-bingo (one of Tee’s many endearments…) the nausea
subsided as it found
another way to escape (no need to detail this section…read between the
lines lovely
friends…) and with legs firing and bodies still alive we made our
descent as
dawn came. Of course after taking the worst of the 3 mudslide routes to
the
top. Too weak to continue guiding Ness down through the bog, Nat took
the reins
and did the most amazing job. We were all stunned. She guided Ness over
every
rock, root, with exact detailed instructions on where to put feet,
poles,
hands, legs, limbs. She did it with extreme patience, a couple of
spills but
with strong leadership and intense accuracy. Her pivotal moment. We are
all so
proud of you. Our little Virgin stepping up. Team first. Trace and I
just flailed
somewhere behind. Delirious. Bloody, happy chirpy birds. Hello
sunshine. CP5 we
made it. The morning bells and rituals of the mountain temple,
lingering incense
in the air, no sign of the mystical Tengu who apparently resides
somewhere in
the nearby wilderness, no doubt we scared him off. Looking lovely at
this
point. We crashed out for an hour. Love nap time. Woke up, brushed the
furry teeth,
extracted twigs, sticks, flora from the hair, cleared away the muck,
changed
clothes. Backpacks loaded up, we headed out. Tee’s knee pain there,
but pushing through. Her ongoing mantra front and center always..."Pain
is temporary, victory is forever"...just like the Nike shirt says. Ness
and Nat working through feet issues, but not letting
on to what extent, and me, pretty fine…thanks BM. How are your toes?
Good. How
are your feet? Good. How are your calves? Good. How are your knees?
Pretty crap,
but nothing 53 leg braces and meters of tape won’t work out. It’s a new
day,
there is certainly fatigue. Keep on moving.
The
course
to CP6 9.5km, for the most part follows a mountain road and we plodded
on as the day became warmer, making new friends along the way. Our pace
hopelessly slow and way off target but we were doing it. Feeling as
good as we
could, working as a team. First Tee guiding Ness, then we let her off
the rope and she went solo for a stint. Nat and Trace chatted almost
the whole way, Ness and
I in a meditative state, one foot in front of the other, on, on. One of
the
joys of this morning were the peals of laughter and giggles from Tee
and Nat as
they gabbed about god knows what in spite of the current state of pain,
because
all too soon there would be a major, epic meltdown.
By
lunchtime we burst through the woods into the already harvested tea fields in
the hills high above the Yagurasawa Public house below. Our pit stop for this
leg of the race…opps, sorry wrong reality show. As we descended the windy road
we knew our nemesis loomed, CP6-7, no offense, we hate you. If you’ve been
following our prep you’ll no doubt be aware Trace and I have been lost on this section
twice and know it very well NOW. But we were ready to kill it today. That was
before Nat took off her shoes and we saw for the first time what she wasn’t
telling us. Her feet were on fire, screaming, riddled, covered with blisters.
No amount of blister cream, tape or fabulous first aid was gonna work. We
should have used the metho technique. We have no idea how she had made it this
far. It was the end. Then we forced Ness to confess how she was doing…and we
discovered her own library of aliments including debilitating blisters, and a
nagging, horrible toe infection. The concentration to just walk, and the energy
this exerts on her part, much more than any of us had to endure. Trace’s leg
pain was there for sure but she was ready to rock on and work through it
unbearably and as always stubbornly. I was fine, just hot and tired and worried
for everyone. Which often translates to taking on way too much and there being
too much stress in the general vicinity. It was here after the yakisoba was demolished
and feet were in the sink that together we made the overwhelmingly
heartbreaking decision to retire - together. Ness couldn’t go on, Nat couldn’t
go on. They didn’t want to be the ones to quit. And honestly none of us ever thought
they would be. But we were not going to leave them in the middle of nowhere,
with no support team, no matter how much we may have selfishly wanted to
continue. That wasn’t our team dynamic…even though of course we desperately
wanted to finish for us, for The Soundtracks and for all our wonderful supporters and
friends.
I
think what played in our mind was the lady we met just as we started our ascent
the previous evening from 4-5. She was coming down, we were going up. Her team
had ditched her, in the rain, dark and fog. It was too much for her, she had
decided to retire and she was on her own. Her 3 male teammates, their pace much
faster, leaving her alone on a mountain pass at 1am. It was truly dreadful and certainly not in the
spirit of this event. We all felt so sad for her and did our best to help. We realized
how lucky we were, aliments, disabilities/challenges and all. She said she didn’t
need the emergency service. She was near the road, our hearts sank watching her
embark on the long walk back to CP4.
How
quickly things change, and how important communication becomes. Check in with
each other and get the low down. We did this at CP6 and the reality was cruel
and so very clear. We knew the next 35km
would be the hardest of the entire course. The clarity of a friends advice
ringing true…sometimes there is a bravery in stopping.
We
started as a team and would end as a team, in the spirit of the event.
We
know
it was the right thing to do considering our unique situation, which we
never wanted to admit too, but let’s face it – it is what it is. It was
the
right thing to do for us. But we were and continued to be completely
devastated.
Nat’s shattered, Ness is inconsolable. Tee is trying to deal with doing
what she wanted to do versus what was the right thing to do. A constant
duel. Dee’s new mantra of “there’s no shame in
a blister” is taking time to embrace.
Together
arm in arm we marched to the check-out desk at CP6. And together we
retired. The beautiful volunteers at Yagurasawa were so wonderful and
supportive and helpful. They snipped our wristbands tearfully - still
can't look at those pictures. Lots of hugs, claps and cheers. And here
we pause briefly to celebrate, thank and give big shout outs to the
inspirational and incredible volunteers and general fabulous
organisation of the entire event. Huge thanks to the BIG sponsors STATE STREET, too. So
many people helped to pull this off. It was always a surprise and so
joyous when we came across supporters and volunteers dotted over the
course, in the middle of nowhere, totally random, clapping, cheering,
urging us on. Touching stuff.
So
we
made it 63.5km in 27 hours. Again not bad, considering the
conditions... Sure we are proud to a point, but in many ways feel we
have let
everyone down; our beautiful friends, family, sponsors, many Oxfam
supporters
and ourselves. Hopefully the sense of failure will fade. But right now
it is raw. As I write
this, I relive it all. And all I can do it wonder “What if we had just
pushed
through…?”, “What if we had done this…” “What could I have done
differently…?”,
“Why didn’t we wait a little longer…?” “We made the decision too
quickly…” The
what-ifs are wreaking havoc. Better to forget the hindsight, if we ever
can.
Yet, it’s there. But we all know it was the correct decision at that
time. The
tears well up and the heart is heavy and hurts. I know it was just a
walk…just
a long walk in the mountains. It's not that big a deal, right? But in
our case we wanted the walk, we wanted the end for so many reasons…and
that's what's hard to reconcile I guess. But at least to write it all
down is cathartic enough for now.
We
wanted it for Ness to prove she can do anything. Actually we think she can do
more than anything she puts her mind to…
I
mean, just for a minute close your eyes. Let the darkness engulf you. Let it
rain. Let there be fog. It’s night. Strap yourself to a friend. Entrust that
person, with your life. Walk over mountain peaks, in terrain you can never see
and barely imagine. Step down when you don’t know what your feet will meet.
Sink in mud that you don’t know is coming. Put up with someone spewing in front
of you for 4 hours nonstop. Be fearless always, make amazing trail mix that may
or may not have a laxative effect…Follow. Form a path in your mind that knows not sheer
drops, craggy tops, steep descents. Just follow the footsteps you can only feel
in front of you. Ignore the stares you can’t see. Go down, go up, go over, go under,
go through, go around. All with your eyes closed. Ness, we are all so proud of
you. And proud of ourselves for not killing you…we just wished we
could have given you those last 30-odd ks. Damn feet.
We
wanted
this for Nat who came all this way to be with us, to feel connected, to
challenge herself in a way she never had before. And how about Mt Fuji?
Did she
ever see it? Not on this race…but keep reading. And we wanted it for
Trace who
has lost more than 50kgs this year, who has changed her life in terms
none of
us can really understand. It was a finish point. To show what the human
body is capable of when in tune with bravery, hardwork and lots and
lots of huffy puffy. Ok, spirit. And in spite of her usual
headstrong self, she thought of others first, even though she wanted
this badder than bad. And I wanted it for me, too, cause I know it
would be awesome prep if they
ever did an international edition of the Amazing Race. Seriously,
though I wanted to see what would happen if I put my heart and body
into motion. Put these 4 characters together, in dramatic
circumstances, you're gonna get a good script. But I guess it’s just
like the Nike slogan says; “There is no finish line…”. Sadly, in this
case.
But
we wanted it for all of you, the people who keep us going, who have supported
so long. For all your wonderful, generous donations. Thank you all so much for
all that you have done for us. For those who already knew how this story ended –
thank you for your overwhelming support of our decision and for being with us
on the race via the phone and Facebook. There are no more words, just tremendous
affection and huge hugs/cocktails whenever we have a chance to see you, wherever
you are in this big old world.
So
we
move on. A week almost goes by. We cry and talk and analyze. I blame
Barry
Manilow. His fault. Just can’t get “Looks like we made it”…and the
blazing neon sign "ALMOST" flashing above it out of the head. We
go round and round in circles. We’ll get over it eventually, always
move
forward. We come home. But not before
heading to the finish line at Yamanaka-ko, to take a few photos that belie our
real feelings. Happy for all our friends who made it, truly. Loved hearing all
the success stories. But it tugs on the heartstrings. So grateful and happy for
the new friends we have made and for the money we have raised for charity.
We
sit in
an onsen for a day. I marvel my body feels fine, just minimal aches.
Trace is ok. Ness and Nat and their blisters et al are all doing well in
thongs. We eat celebratory/commiseratory
chippies and treats. They still tasted good. We call home. Everyone is proud
and amazed. We check out of the Mt Fuji hotel. Still no Fuji view for Nat. We drive around. There is fog. A lot of fog.
We
remember
the funny stuff. We find good engrish. We take pictures of feet. We
wonder if our shoes will ever get clean or if at this point it's just
better to chuck them out.
We make one brief stop before we get home. Our punishment
or reward? We’re not sure. We scream as a team on FUJIYAMA at Fuji-Q Highlands.
Take a ride on the world’s tallest rollercoaster.
Just as we are leaving the
clouds part, Mt Fuji picks up her skirts and takes off her hat. And comes to
the party. Hello, Nat here, nice to meet you. There is jumping and always joy.
We get home finally. Unpack hopelessly. Verdi and life is waiting. We toss around the idea of next year…
Finally have run out of words. Thank you all truly.
Dee, Trace, Nat, Ness & Verdi
The Soundtracks #34
